Myths and Facts of Dating Violence

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  • Myth

    Dating violence rarely happens.

  • Fact

    Up to 88% of women and 81% of men have been a victim of emotional and verbal dating violence. 35% of men and women have been victims of physical violence*. 43% of college women report experiencing abusive dating behaviors.*

  • Myth

    If a victim didn’t make the perpetrator angry, the physical abuse would not happen.

  • Fact

    No one deserves abuse. Abusers use physical violence to overpower and control their victims. The abuser is always responsible for abuse, never the victim.

  • Myth

    It’s normal to need to know where your partner is at all times and control who they can socialize with.

  • Fact

    Abusers try to control their victims by isolating them. Couples should be able to spend time together, but also spend time apart without being tracked, interrogated, and threatened.

  • Myth

    People stay in abusive relationships because they are okay with being abused.

  • Fact

    Abusers often control their victims by physical and emotional violence, but also by restricting their resources. Victims may want to leave, but may have no friends or no money because it was taken away by their abuser. Victims may also be afraid to leave because their partner is violent. Victims are at the highest risk for abuse when they leave the relationship.*

  • Myth

    Alcohol is the cause of physical and emotional abuse.

  • Fact

    Alcohol abuse is never an excuse for violence, nor does it cause violence. Alcohol can make abuse worse and more deadly.*

  • Myth

    Dating violence only exists in certain kinds of relationships.

  • Fact

    Dating violence exists among people of all education levels, income levels, races, religions, and in LGBT relationships.*

  • Myth

    Most sexual batteries are committed by strangers.

  • Fact

    Nearly 73% of rapes are perpetrated by someone the victim knew: a friend, a friend-of-a-friend, or an acquaintance (38%), a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend (28%), a relative (7%).*

White, J. W., &Koss, M. P. (1991). Courtship violence: Incidence in a national sample of higher education students. Violence and Victims, 6, 247-256.
Love Is Respect. (2011). Types of abuse.
Retrieved from http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse
White, H. & White, G. (2005). Testifying about lethality risk factors.
Retrieved from http://www.vaw.umn.edu/documents/lethalitytribal/lethalitytribal.pdf
Bennett, L. & Lawson, M. (1994). Barriers to cooperation between domestic violence and substance abuse programs. Families In Society, 75, 277-286.
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (n.d.). What is battering.
Retrieved from http://www.ncadv.org/learn/TheProblem.php
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network. (2009). The rapist isn’t a masked stranger.
Retrieved from http://www.rainn.org/get- information/statistics/sexual-assault-offenders